Time is flying...

Wow 4 months already. :( I can't wait to hold our precious baby in my arms but since this will be my last pregnancy I'm sad that it's going by so fast. I love being pregnant, even on the bad days. I love doing what my body was meant to do.

I have been feeling great, other then the never ending pain in my back. After having a massage and it not helping I went to the chiropractor. It wasn't until then that I realized that there was a cause of concern for my pain. I was shocked when the chiro informed me the pain was due to the fact that my right scapula (aka shoulder blade) was turned outward, causing it to stick out almost and inch farther then my left. How does that happen?? I know your body adjust, muscles relax, tendons stretch all while pregnant but what in the world causes this. Thankfully I know a PT and she recommended getting a referral from my doctor to be treated. After discussing the situation with my OB and explaining the different things I had already tried, she agreed PT was definitely the next step. She was not happy that I didn't call her earlier to talk with her about it and explained that some things don't need to wait for my appointment. Oops...lesson learned. lol. I'm looking forward to starting treatment next week and finally getting some relief.

Also during our appointment we scheduled our "big" ultrasound, where we get to see our sweet 'baby boo' for 45 minutes, and hopefully find out if we are expecting a girl or a boy. Since we drive over an hour to our appointments I was begging to be able to have both (the ultrasound and our 20 week appointment) done on the same day. They must really love me, because they made it happen. ;) So we get to have our ultrasound done first thing in the morning. Which is super exciting because we had to wait till 3:00 in the afternoon to find out with Ethan. That was like the longest day ever. lol. The clinic doesn't allow minor children to be there so we are thinking of some fun ways to tell Ethan and then some exciting things to do that day as well.

I finally knew without a doubt on Sunday (exactly 16 weeks) that I was feeling quickening. I had wondered for a few days but was 100% certain on Sunday. I'm so excited for this phase and looking forward to seeing my hubby's face when he feels it for the first time. When the nurse was listening to the HB on the Doppler at our appointment, baby was going crazy. I love it!!

I'm slowly getting Ethan's "Big Brother" hospital bag filled with all his goodies. He's gonna make out like a bandit...with Christmas in December, his birthday in February and then his hospital bag in late February/early March. Now to start working on Daddy's bag...squee...this is so much fun!!

Some days I get very over whelmed and stressed thinking of all sorts of different things. When I get down and feel like I'm loosing control I'm reminded of a hymn my Papa Shuler use to sing to me when I was a kid. This is a more modern version of the old hymn I grew up on but I enjoy the contemporary twist. Enjoy!

Anxiety Building...

As each day passes I'm flooded with an array of emotions. First and foremost, excitement. Not one day has gone by where excitement hasn't described a part of me. I'm almost giddy at thinking about all the fun things yet to come. Yet, that excitement is dampened by fear and anxiety. Fear of the things I can't control. How early could I be this time? How will I handle it if my water breaks at home? (It wasn't until my water was broke last time that I was in tremendous pain.) How would I deal with that pain during the hour drive to the hospital? How soon would we be able to leave if it happened over night (like it did with Ethan)? How would Ethan react if he woke up and we weren't home? What would I do if it happens when my husband is working and on a call and can't get home or even answer his phone to know what's going on?

Then there's the anxiety of being in the hospital, away from Ethan. How do I make it possible to keep our promise as parents that one of us would always be home to do bedtime routine and tuck him in. I can't imagine my husband driving an hour one way to come home to do the routine and then return to the hospital, another hour drive, to be with me and the baby. I don't want to be at the hospital without him but our promise to Ethan is so much more important then that. Do we just have him at the hospital till bedtime and brush his teeth, read stories, say prayers and then have my mom bring him home and put him to bed? The hospital will allow him to stay over night with us but I don't think that's fair to him. There would be no way he would get good sleep. I want him to be at the hospital as much as possible and I know that's unreasonable for a what will be 3 year old. I know it's selfish to want him up there the whole time but I want us to be a family and for him to feel included from the beginning.

I thought this pregnancy would have less anxiety then the first but I was wrong. It's a whole new level of anxiety. I thought it would be easier since we don't have to move - twice. Yet instead I find myself worrying over silly things like: Should we be buying more diapers then we are...Nursery colors...my clothes don't fit...am I doing enough to prepare Ethan. I know it's doing no good and there's the saying, "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere". Easier said then done.

Then as if all those emotions weren't enough I'm dealing with sadness. Sadness because this will be my last pregnancy. I know in my heart that I don't want more then 2 kids but there's a sadness in the fact that this is it. I love being pregnant. The highs and lows are so worth it. We have discussed the ways we will prevent pregnancy, without taking birth control for the rest of my fertile days. Even though I'm in agreeance I'm scared because, what if God forbid, something happen to either of my kids. What if we would want another? I know it's not permanent but it feels that way...especially with all the struggles we had with getting pregnant this time. How impossible would it be then?

I've spent lots of time praying with God and I know He will take care of everything and it will work out just as it's supposed to. I ask that you pray for me...for peace. Thank you!!

As 1st Trimester comes to a close...

It's hard to believe that next week is moving week...moving as in, onto 2nd Trimester. I can already tell by the signs though...increased energy and A LOT less bloat. The headaches are fewer and farther between too. Phew!!

We had our 12 week appointment today and everything is great. Measuring right on track and baby boo has a strong heartbeat of 165 bpm. When we listen at home on our Doppler not only are we enjoying the sounds of the heartbeat but also all the rolls and wiggles going on inside. We decided not to have the NT Scan. I have talked with two different ladies that had two different experiences with it. One was told her results showed an increase/likely risk for DS (down syndrome), which caused increase stress and worry for 6 months only to deliver a perfectly healthy baby. The other was told her results showed a 1 in 3000+, which she was told by her doctor basically meant a negative result, only to deliver a handsome baby boy with DS. Neither opted for the amino due to the risk of miscarriage. For myself to know 2 people personally with drastically different outcomes from the same test it was a no brainer for us. Totally not worth the risk. We will love the baby that God gives us and we will have the 20 week scan that will test for the same thing so we are confident that if it shows something at that point we will have plenty of time to adjust and educate ourselves prior to our little bundles arrival. Either way we are the most blessed people on earth to be baby boo's parents!!

After getting the stomach bug last week and losing more weight then I should have because of it, my weight is exactly the same as it was last month. I guess that's a good thing. ;)  Speaking of stomach bug, we think we picked it up at Jump Mania (an indoor bouncy house type place). We went because that is where we were wanting to have Ethan's 3rd birthday but after picking up the lovely germs there's no way we are having a party there. Not only do I not want to risk my own child getting sick again but I would feel so bad if the other kids that come to the party ended up getting sick too because of it. No thanks...not worth the risk!! So back to the drawing board on deciding on the birthday party location. I'm wanting to have it some place other then home because I know if I have it at home then it will be over the top. Whereas, if we have it in public I'm limited to what I can do. lol.

My last post was all about our big boy. Well he is officially a BIG BOY!! He tinkles and poos in the potty without any issues or accidents. I couldn't be more proud of him. When we all got sick last week with that darn stomach bug, we had to take him to urgent care for dehydration. Poor guy couldn't keep anything down. :( All the nurses and doctors were shocked that he's only 2.5 years old and already potty trained. I was so proud. For tinkling in the potty he got his fish and fishing pole which is so fun to watch. It's a tub/pool toy with an electronic fish that has a magnet in his mouth and a real working fishing pole that has a magnetic lure and/or worm to fish with. The fish swims around the water and once he 'bites' the 'bait' he flails around as he is being reeled in. It's so cute! Then for poo'n on the potty he wanted a tractor. Well just any ole Walmart cheap tractor wouldn't do so we took an hour drive time round trip to a farm and home supply store to make sure we got the best tractor money could buy. :) He picked out the package that had (2) different John Deere tractors and (1) truck.

I received the shirts I had made for Ethan and 'Dada' to wear at the hospital. They are so cute!! I originally was going to surprise Dada with his but I suck at keeping secrets from him so once it came in the mail I knew there was no way I was going to keep it on the down low for 6 months. So I had to show him right away and of course he loved it. :) We also purchased our first 'baby #2' purchase which is only making the urge to shop that much worse. lol.

Life is great!!

Big boy in the house...

Since finding out we were expecting we have included Ethan in the news. Most conversations have revolved around topics about him being a big brother. We have purchased books regarding a new baby/being a big brother, all the ways that he can help as a big brother and then the discussion about how big brothers don't wear diapers and that diapers are for babies. Originally when we started the diaper conversation his response was, "No, E-ne (which is how he says his name...and I have no idea any other way to spell it...lol) has big diapers". In fact the rare occasions of him actually going on the potty had become nonexistent. Asking if he needed to go tinkle on the potty only brought on tantrums. OY! So I had completely just stopped asking, which in turn meant there no longer were any potty trips. I was beginning to loose all hope. Then on a whim, I searched for blogs regarding the potty training boys topic (stubborn boys specifically) and came across this one blog that actually was a craft blog but had a potty training experience entry. It was awesome! Her ideas and tips were amazing so I discussed with my hubby about how I wanted to try, as she put it, having a 'pee pee party'. I explained her experience and success with it but he was super skeptic. I can't really blame him since everything we had tried before can only be defined as failure.  One of the suggestions in the blog was to hid all his diapers but get newborn or size 1 diapers and when your child gets up the morning of the surprise 'pee pee party' you go to change their diaper, trying to put on the small one. With shock in your voice and action you explain they must have grown over night and are too big for their diapers now so now they will have to wear undies. lol. Genius!! I was so ready to dig out the size 1 diapers and give it a whirl.

Then on Monday, everything changed!! Ethan was helping me put laundry in the washing machine and of course it was a load that had mine and papa bear's undies in it. As he was putting everything in the washer he said, "Wash E-ne's undies?". Without giving it a second thought, I just said, "Nope, since you wear diapers, your undies are always clean...once you wear undies then we can wash yours with momma's and dada's". Maybe 30 minutes later he, out of nowhere, says, "Tinkle Tinkle" and takes off for the bathroom. Papa bear and I just looked at each other, as to say, "Whaaaa??". After he was done I told him, to go into the living room so I could put a diaper on him. His reply was, "No, momma, E-ne a a big boy, no diapers, get undies". I almost fell over.

He has worn undies ever sense. I still can't hardly believe it. Of course we have had a few accidents but just little tinkles where he just doesn't make it quick enough, but no soaking through, leaking on the carpet sort of accidents. I'm so proud of him. I think him "making the decision all on his own" was our secret. He sort of comes by that trait naturally...lol!! We are still putting him in pull ups over night...well to be honest...I enjoy my sleep. I know it's horrible to say but if he gets up at 7:30 and wants to play quietly until 8, I am ok with that but I can't expect him to hold his bladder until I get up. Baby steps for this momma. :)  It did however, feel AWESOME to pull all diapers out of the diaper bag and replace them with undies and extra clothes.

On another note...I can tell 2nd trimester is nearing because I'm feeling really good. My only complaint (because, we all know I always have to have one...lol) is some muscle pain in my back. It's almost impossible to sit in a dinner room table type chair. Unless I can sorta recline, I'm miserable. I don't know if it's just from bending over a lot with Ethan or what but it sucks. It's just on my right side right about where my bra strap is across my back. I finally decided I was going to get my heating pad out and put it to work, only to discover it no longer works. Ugh...just my luck. It's on my list of things to purchase ASAP! I've been battling a darn headache at the base of my neck too but I'm almost 100% positive it's from lack of sleep. Who knows...the two may be connected. I may have a massage in the near future.

Baby boo seems to be doing great. We rented a Doppler and it was delivered Monday. Of course we had to put it to use right away. Heartbeat was detected and going strong at 156. :) There is no denying sweet baby boo is growing like a weed. Here's a little belly series shot.

10 weeks on 8.5.12

Ultrasound...

The day finally arrived!! I woke up at 6:00 this morning having to pee and then couldn't go back to sleep because I was overcome with excitement.

Thankfully our appointment was fairly early at 10:00 AM and since we live an hour from the doctor it helped make the morning go by much faster. Of course the doctor was running 45 minutes behind but we had waited 8 weeks (5 really) so surely we could wait a few extra minutes. After being weighed and checked in we waited some more. The nurse told us that the doctor would come in, talk with us, go over any questions and then step out for me to get undressed to do the exam and ultrasound. Ok...no biggie. Well the doctor finally comes in and asks, "Why do you still have your clothes on?" After explaining to her what the nurse said, she said, "Oh geez...new help...I'll step out so you can get undressed...I'll be back". So again...we waited!!

She came back in and got right to it. Suddenly I was so nervous. I just prayed and prayed for good news. Then up on the screen popped the cutest lil' "baby boo" ever. The doctor quickly moved the 'wand' (aka vaginal ultrasound) to check to make sure there was just one baby and discovered a "mass". She said it could be blood behind the uterus but since I'm not having any bleeding or spotting it more then likely was a twin that didn't develop. WOW...was not expecting that.



8 week 'baby boo' looking right at the camera.

Same picture as above just with descriptions to help know what your seeing.



After checking everything out and determining everything looked great, the doctor went back to focus on our amazing sweet baby. As she was measuring 'it', 'it' started wiggling and moving it's arm back and forth. It was breathtaking. Such a miracle!! Measuring right on track and with a strong heart beat of 160...in the words of Mary Poppins, "Perfect in every way"!!

Feelin' great...

Since my last post I've discovered that freshly squeezed lemon juice in my ice cold water is the miracle cure for my morning/all day sickness. Thank the Lord!!! The headaches have finally subsided and I haven't had a nosebleed in several days. YAY!!

8 Weeks

I can't believe we finally made it to week 8! It seems like so long ago that we got our BFP. This week is a special week because we get to have our first ultrasound done. When we had our first ultrasound with Ethan I was only 7 weeks along he just looked like a "tube" with a heartbeat. He wasn't moving around yet and his arms and legs had barely 'budded' so he literally just looked like a peanut on the screen. This time around I will be 8 weeks and 4 days so we should be able to see lil' baby boo moving too. :)

Not a whole lot has been going on around here. Last Friday we went on our first one-on-one date in almost 2 years (minus a double date we went on last year). We had a great time but it was still hard leaving Ethan behind, especially when he loves baseball so much (we went to a minor league Triple A Cardinals baseball game). We decided next time we go we will get 'lawn tickets' and take him with us. I think he will love it and I personally will probably be more comfortable on the ground rather then sitting straight up in close quarters in the seats.

We don't miss 'going out'. We were home bodies before we became parents so we don't mind just hanging out at home. Plus, we are both firm believers in the fact that we decided to 'have a family' so we can do things 'as a family'. So we don't mind finding activities to do that is fun for all of us. We understand that we need 'mommy and daddy' time but we mostly spend the time away from Ethan, just talking about him. :)

Since we are so blessed with family that just loves to spend time with Ethan, we already have another date night planned for Friday. Should be a week of good times.

Changes...

Nosebleeds, headaches and nausea...oh my!!! This pregnancy is definitely different then with Ethan. The nausea has been slowly building over the past few days. No matter what I eat, nothing seems to help. However, waiting too long between meals definitely makes it worse. Thankfully it's not to the point of making me hurl but I don't hardly have the strength or energy to do anything. I'm so glad playing with trucks, doing ABC flash cards or watching TV can all be done while laying down. I was so hopeful that I wouldn't be affected by it mainly so it wouldn't interfere with being a mom. When I was pregnant with Ethan the nausea was so mild and was mainly triggered by smells. I have cut back on my eating but only because nothing sounds good. Peanut butter crackers and jello are my go to snacks because it seems like one or the other always taste good. I started taking B6, since it's supposed to help with the nausea. I've only been taking it for 2 days so hopefully it kicks in within the next week. I really don't want to add the unisom because I'm already so tired and there would be no way I could function with that in my system.

The nosebleeds are something completely new for me. They are so random...I don't get it. I don't like dealing with blood anyway so they are not helping with the nausea at all!! Then the headaches kicked in last night. I hate headaches enough as it is when nothing else is bothering me, now they are just pissing me off. I'm like..."REALLY...now this too"!!

I'm amazed the difference my body is handling this pregnancy with just the 3 short years it's been since my pregnancy with Ethan. It really is true what they say...mid thirties brings on a whole new ball game on how your body deals with things. I will survive and I've said it before...it's only temporary. Hopefully temporary in the sense of just a few short weeks (aka 6, which will put me into the 2nd trimester) and not in the sense of temporary like 33 weeks. Either way, I'll get through it and it will be worth in the end. At this point, it's just confirming that my body is doing what it needs to do for a healthy pregnancy...and that I am ok with.