Disappointment...

Well here I am...CD2. Another month behind me. Another month to try. This month was extra disappointing because everything was saying "YES" on my chart. Yet, God said, "NO". My chart was almost text book positive...it was triphasic (a triphasic chart shows three levels of temperatures: pre-ovulation, post-ovulation, and then a second rise around 7-10 days after ovulation) and actual symptoms, not just 'phantom symptoms'.  I'm so mad at myself for letting my guard down and getting excited. Doing so only made the disappoint that much harder to deal with.

I keep telling myself maybe we need to take a break...but who am I kidding. NO WAY am I giving up. No matter how hard month after month of disappointment is, my desire to bring another child into this world is greater and stronger then all the disappointment. It is my faith that has brought me through all the ups and downs I've experienced in my life...and it is my faith that will bring me through this too.

I always try to think of something positive in every situation so here's my positive spin on this situation. When I got pregnant with Ethan, I stopped taking my BCP and had got my period on May 26, 2009 and on June 21st we got our BFP! So here we are 3 years later and I start my period on May 27th. Maybe it's just God's plan for our kids to have birthdays within a few days of each other. Ethan was 2 weeks early but a lot of times the 2nd child comes sooner then the EDD, so it could be very possible that they would have birthdays very close. What would be really crazy, is if we were blessed with another child this month, they too came 2 weeks early and were born on 2/21/13...not only would my kids be 3 years and 1 day apart but my dad would have 4 grand kids with birthdays right in a row that month (2/18, 2/19, 2/20 & then 2/21). Oh how funny that would be! :)  I'm a hopeful optimist and I'm also an OCD planner, so these thoughts just come naturally.

A girl can hope and dream...