My heart is heavy and I am relying on my faith more then ever right now. Everything has always gone smoothly, with this pregnancy and with Ethan, so when we received unexpected news, my heart just dropped. As a mom, it is my job to protect my babies and right now I feel like I'm failing, or rather my womb is failing.
We went to our appointment on Wednesday, at 35 weeks. After my last appointment and already dilating, my mind started racing with 'must do's'. Since we are delivery at a different hospital this time, it's like going through this for the first time...so many unknowns. So I took my trusty steno pad with my list of questions, concerns and delivery expectations all written out. Thinking I had everything covered, I was so shaken when she advised she wanted me to have another ultrasound.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to see our sweet boy again before he makes his arrival but not because there is a concern. The Dr. pulled out her measuring tape and readjusted several times. She started pressing around on my belly and then measured again...and again..and again. She then said you are measuring behind and we need to get another ultrasound to check and make sure everything is ok. She said Elliott and really low so that is more then likely why but she wants to make sure. She then pulled out the doppler and his heart rate was much slower then normal. My heart just sank. I was completely caught off guard. He has been so active I never in a million years expected there to be a problem.
I was so confused as to how he could be measuring on target up until this point and now all of a sudden he's not. Well, it could be several different things: (a) he's low in my pelvis (this option gets my vote), (b) my fluid is low, due to placenta issues, (c) he's not growing at the expected rate, which could be caused my cord issues.
I am doing my best to give my worry and concern over to the Lord. I would be lying if I didn't say I have spent several hours crying but I'm proud to say I have spent more hours praying. I know it is through the prayers and my faith that I am getting through this. I know there are much worse things that could occur and there are mothers who have been through so much more but for me this is a big deal. I am grateful the Lord does not discriminate, yet instead He loves and heals all...equally.
After some discussion, my Dr. wanted to check me. I have been praying like crazy for things not to change and progress until after Ethan's birthday party. She said I was still at 1cm but I was now 70% effaced. Oh boy, more anxiety. With Ethan, my doctor checked me and I was 3 cm and 70%...then less than 12 hours later I was in active labor. She did say my cervix was still posterior but that it could change in a matter of hours or stay that way for weeks. I'm hoping for the 'weeks' option. :)
In the meantime I will follow the doctor's orders and take it easy and drink more fluids. I am excited about seeing our lil man next week.
Any and all prayers are appreciated.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
It's been awhile...
It's been awhile since my last post...life has been pretty busy. Looking forward to things finally slowing down in two weeks and hopefully staying that way for a few additional weeks.
Since my last post, my hubby and Ethan both had the flu. Hubby was down for about 5 days but only had a fever for 3. Ethan however was down for about 11 days and fought the fever for 9. It was awful and I am so thankful I got my flu shot. I wasn't sure I was going to get by without getting it because I got the shot only 3.5 weeks before they got the flu and I was coughed on for so many days...I really had my doubts but I made it. Since then they have both received the flu shot and we are hoping to not have to deal with it again. After the round of the flu, however, I ended up on antibiotics for a chest cold and the hubby ended up on antibiotics for tonsillitis. It's been a rough winter and we are all very ready for spring.
At my last doctors visit (which I as 33 weeks) I informed her of my new concerns. The contractions have gotten more regular and some even waking me up out of a sleep and some into my back....which really scared me because that was where I had my labor pains with Ethan. Not only all the contractions but the increased pressure and the fact that the contractions are affecting my bowels. She advised that all those symptoms were signs of preterm labor and that she wanted to go ahead and check me to see if my cervix was responding to anything. Well, of course it is...that's just how I roll. :) Thankfully I am not thinning out yet but am dilated to a 1. She advised to head to L&D if the contractions become 7-8 min apart for a least an hour. If they become consistent quicker then that or become more intense at any point I am to head to L&D. Great!! On a positive note, he is now head down so that made me feel better. It's scary to think that things are already in motion. I can not wait to hold him in my arms but I would really like him to wait a few more weeks before making his arrival.
I celebrated my 35th birthday last week and then had a little sprinkle for Elliott last weekend. I really enjoyed the sprinkle...it was a simple and intimate 'event' but full of fun and lots of laughs. I am so grateful for the friends and family that came to celebrate this precious little life. I was so glad my cousin offered to throw us the sprinkle. Even though we are having another boy and even though he is due around the exact same time of the year that his older brother was born, he still deserved for people to want to come together and celebrate his life. It fills my heart with joy when I think about the people in our life that are as excited about meeting him as we are.
I have been really busy getting everything ready for Ethan's 3rd birthday party coming up and have really pushed myself with getting other things done around the house. To the point where I may have pushed myself a little to far. This past Sunday afternoon I started having regular contractions, some not so fun. They continued for 6+ hours and then I thought maybe if I just got a good nights sleep they would subside and be better in the morning, so I went to bed. They woke me up off and on that night and then when I got up yesterday, Monday, and they were still going. I was having approximately 6-8 an hour. They weren't getting any worse but the fact that they had been so consistent for so many hours had me worried. I called my doctor and she wanted me to go to L&D to be checked and monitored for a few hours. I was doing okay until the nurse says, "be sure and bring an overnight bag, she may want to keep you over night". I went into panic mode. I wasn't ready! Ethan was down for his nap so I wasn't even going to get to say good bye, nor was anything packed for the baby or us. We threw a few things in a bag and headed to L&D once my mother in law arrived to babysit. I felt in my heart that we were coming back home that night but it was still scary to think about how unprepared I was. After several hours on the monitor my doctor let me go home. I was having regular contractions but thankfully my cervix had not changed. My urine did show I was a "tad" dehydrated (not enough to need an IV) and that I had a mild UTI (not bad enough to need antibiotics). I was told to drink a minimum of 160 oz of water PER day otherwise the UTI could get worse, which could cause preterm labor.
I was so glad to be getting to go home and be there in time to tuck Ethan into bed and do our normal bedtime routine. Tonight I went on a 'preperation' frenzy. I got Elliott's diaper bag ready, the car seat ready, Ethan's "Big Brother" bag ready and packed our bag of essentials we would need but wouldn't miss for the next several weeks. At least this way if he decides to come early then we can take what we need and it would be easy for someone else to grab everything else...if needed.
My amazing hubby has now become a warden. He has set strict rules for me for the remainder of the pregnancy. I'm not happy about them but I know it's for the best. The hardest part is no shopping. Not that I want to go clothes shopping but I enjoy Ethan and I going shopping for groceries and/or necessities. I'm going to miss that, but like I said, I understand. It's also hard to not be 'allowed' to be helpful around the house. You would think I would like being told that I can't do laundry or clean up the kitchen. Nope...as a SAHM, those things are my job and not getting to do my job is hard to swallow. There are some days that I already feel like I don't contribute enough...this is not helping. I am trying to see it as a blessing and use the opportunity to spend more one on one time with Ethan. At least I'm 'allowed' to play with cars/trucks/tractors in the floor or play board games. :) At the end of the day, I'm so blessed to have a husband who cares so much for me.
I love my life!!
Since my last post, my hubby and Ethan both had the flu. Hubby was down for about 5 days but only had a fever for 3. Ethan however was down for about 11 days and fought the fever for 9. It was awful and I am so thankful I got my flu shot. I wasn't sure I was going to get by without getting it because I got the shot only 3.5 weeks before they got the flu and I was coughed on for so many days...I really had my doubts but I made it. Since then they have both received the flu shot and we are hoping to not have to deal with it again. After the round of the flu, however, I ended up on antibiotics for a chest cold and the hubby ended up on antibiotics for tonsillitis. It's been a rough winter and we are all very ready for spring.
At my last doctors visit (which I as 33 weeks) I informed her of my new concerns. The contractions have gotten more regular and some even waking me up out of a sleep and some into my back....which really scared me because that was where I had my labor pains with Ethan. Not only all the contractions but the increased pressure and the fact that the contractions are affecting my bowels. She advised that all those symptoms were signs of preterm labor and that she wanted to go ahead and check me to see if my cervix was responding to anything. Well, of course it is...that's just how I roll. :) Thankfully I am not thinning out yet but am dilated to a 1. She advised to head to L&D if the contractions become 7-8 min apart for a least an hour. If they become consistent quicker then that or become more intense at any point I am to head to L&D. Great!! On a positive note, he is now head down so that made me feel better. It's scary to think that things are already in motion. I can not wait to hold him in my arms but I would really like him to wait a few more weeks before making his arrival.
I celebrated my 35th birthday last week and then had a little sprinkle for Elliott last weekend. I really enjoyed the sprinkle...it was a simple and intimate 'event' but full of fun and lots of laughs. I am so grateful for the friends and family that came to celebrate this precious little life. I was so glad my cousin offered to throw us the sprinkle. Even though we are having another boy and even though he is due around the exact same time of the year that his older brother was born, he still deserved for people to want to come together and celebrate his life. It fills my heart with joy when I think about the people in our life that are as excited about meeting him as we are.
I have been really busy getting everything ready for Ethan's 3rd birthday party coming up and have really pushed myself with getting other things done around the house. To the point where I may have pushed myself a little to far. This past Sunday afternoon I started having regular contractions, some not so fun. They continued for 6+ hours and then I thought maybe if I just got a good nights sleep they would subside and be better in the morning, so I went to bed. They woke me up off and on that night and then when I got up yesterday, Monday, and they were still going. I was having approximately 6-8 an hour. They weren't getting any worse but the fact that they had been so consistent for so many hours had me worried. I called my doctor and she wanted me to go to L&D to be checked and monitored for a few hours. I was doing okay until the nurse says, "be sure and bring an overnight bag, she may want to keep you over night". I went into panic mode. I wasn't ready! Ethan was down for his nap so I wasn't even going to get to say good bye, nor was anything packed for the baby or us. We threw a few things in a bag and headed to L&D once my mother in law arrived to babysit. I felt in my heart that we were coming back home that night but it was still scary to think about how unprepared I was. After several hours on the monitor my doctor let me go home. I was having regular contractions but thankfully my cervix had not changed. My urine did show I was a "tad" dehydrated (not enough to need an IV) and that I had a mild UTI (not bad enough to need antibiotics). I was told to drink a minimum of 160 oz of water PER day otherwise the UTI could get worse, which could cause preterm labor.
I was so glad to be getting to go home and be there in time to tuck Ethan into bed and do our normal bedtime routine. Tonight I went on a 'preperation' frenzy. I got Elliott's diaper bag ready, the car seat ready, Ethan's "Big Brother" bag ready and packed our bag of essentials we would need but wouldn't miss for the next several weeks. At least this way if he decides to come early then we can take what we need and it would be easy for someone else to grab everything else...if needed.
My amazing hubby has now become a warden. He has set strict rules for me for the remainder of the pregnancy. I'm not happy about them but I know it's for the best. The hardest part is no shopping. Not that I want to go clothes shopping but I enjoy Ethan and I going shopping for groceries and/or necessities. I'm going to miss that, but like I said, I understand. It's also hard to not be 'allowed' to be helpful around the house. You would think I would like being told that I can't do laundry or clean up the kitchen. Nope...as a SAHM, those things are my job and not getting to do my job is hard to swallow. There are some days that I already feel like I don't contribute enough...this is not helping. I am trying to see it as a blessing and use the opportunity to spend more one on one time with Ethan. At least I'm 'allowed' to play with cars/trucks/tractors in the floor or play board games. :) At the end of the day, I'm so blessed to have a husband who cares so much for me.
I love my life!!
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