Prayers!

We survived and had very merry Christmas.  The only part I really dread about the holidays is the increased risk of spreading illnesses. When I was 30 weeks pregnant with Ethan I was 'lucky' enough to get a nasty stomach bug that landed me a trip to L&D, where I received 3 bags of fluids and the news that the throwing up and dehydration caused my cervix to start dilating. I have prayed for months that myself and my family would remain healthy this holiday season. Well...it just wasn't in the cards for us this year. :(

My hubby was restless throughout the night on Christmas eve, so when we woke up Christmas morning and he was overly tired we just figured it was because he didn't get good sleep. As the day went on he grew more and more fatigue so by 3:00 he was beyond ready for nap. After we arrived at our second and final stop for the day, he went in and laid down sleeping for almost 2 hours. Once he got up and walked into the living room where we were all sitting it was very apparent that he didn't feel well. I touched his face and he was burning up...fever of 102.6 to be exact. I didn't want to go home until it came down since we were only 20 minutes from the hospital at that point and if we went home we would be an hour and fifteen minutes from the hospital. After dosing him up with Tylenol, putting him in quarantine down stairs, forcing fluids down his gullet and getting him to eat some jello then waiting 2 hours, his temp lowered to 100.5. We were confident it was going in the right direction so we made the trek home.

He slept all night but didn't feel much better today. His temp was back up to 101.5 so we started him back on the regime of Tylenol and decided he would not be going with me to my doctors appointment. I was full of mixed emotions. I knew he had no business going but he had gone with me to all my appointments, with this pregnancy and during the pregnancy with Ethan. I was confident everything would be ok but so many what ifs were going through my mind. Thankfully my mother-in-law was already planning on coming over to watch Ethan, so he was able to stay in bed and just focus on resting.

Meanwhile at the doctors office, after getting weighed in and situated in the room the nurse compared my numbers to two weeks ago and about came unglued when my weight showed I lost 6 pounds. LOL!! I explained how it had been entered wrong two weeks ago and she finally calmed down. Doctor measured me...right on track, listened to baby...healthy 160 bpm, great blood pressure...124/62. Then I told her I thought he had flipped and was currently in the breech position, so she said lets see. Sure enough, he has flipped. Great!! ::insert sarcasm:: Doctor is confident he will flip back but said she wouldn't get to concerned about it until 34 weeks. She said her concern is the fact that he is so low already and the strength of the contractions I'm having. They are not regular but they are intense and lasting a couple minutes at a time. When I told her about hubby being sick and asked what applied differently to me being pregnant then someone who wasn't. She said, if I was to get sick and my temp reached 102' then I was to go straight into L&D...no ifs, ands, or butts about it.

Then, this evening before Ethan and I could get through dinner, he told me he didn't feel well. I took his temp and sure enough...102.1. Ugh!! I hope he and the hubby get to feeling better ASAP and that I am lucky enough to not get sick at all. I ask for your prayers for not only that I stay healthy but that the contractions subside and I am able to continue this pregnancy for several more weeks.

Good results...

We had our doctor's appointment yesterday and all seems to be well. I had my glucose tolerance test so we had to get to the lab 15 min before my appointment so I could drink that oh so yummy drink (blahhh...so gross). After gagging it down we get signed in with our doctor and are informed she is running about 15 minutes behind. No biggie...that is normal for her. Our appointments go pretty quick once we are in the room so as long as I was able to get back to the lab within the hour I didn't mind the wait...I wasn't going any where anyway. 30 minutes passed and we were still waiting in the waiting room. Oy...it's going to be one of those days, I thought to myself. There is a 60" TV that sits on the check in counter and it has all the doctors in the clinic listed and shows whether they are on time or delayed, and if delayed by how long. Surprise surprise....my dr is now running 1 hour and 20 minutes behind. We figured she had a delivery. When my hour was just about up, we notified the front desk and ran back to the lab for my blood draw. Then back to the waiting room. (Come to find out their computer system was down, so they couldn't see any patients)

Finally they called my name and we were able to get on with the show. Got weighed in and then taken to my room. Blood pressure done. The nurse had my name labels which she writes my vitals down on and was entering stuff into the computer when I look down and see what she wrote my weight down as. Holy bug eyes!!! There is no way that is right. My blood pressure was a little low for me but I figured that was because I was feeling nauseous from the lovely glucose drink. After the nurse left the room I began my tirade about 'my weight'. This has been a topic for the past 3 months so I didn't want to seem crazy but there is just no way that is right. I weighed myself, fully dressed, before we left the house and our scale is always within a few pounds of the doctors office. Not 10 pounds different!!! My husband begged me not to say anything to the doctor and just let it play out in two weeks when we go back. I am preparing for the discussion in two weeks when it's going to look like I've lost weight. Ugh!

Since we had to wait so long to see the doctor the lab had completed my CBC and had the results entered into the computer. She said my iron showed in the 'abnormal' range (low) but the 'normal' range is for non pregnant and being pregnant it can be 'one point lower'. So then it should be between 11-? (I can't remember what the top number is). Mine is 11.7 so right now I don't have to take an iron supplement, like I had to do with Ethan. Also, my RBC, hematocrit and lymphocytes are low and my neutrophil absolute is high. My dr didn't seem to concerned about anything but in my 'professional' observation/opinion it seems like I may be getting ready to get sick and that my body is trying to fight it off already.

Doctor checked my belly and baby is head down. I was pretty sure of that since my ribs have become like a soccer ball. The other night he was very active so I had the hubs put his fingers on my belly, where all the action was going on. It was so funny, as Michael would push on my belly, Elliott would kick back..this went on for a couple minutes. All I could think about was how this could be a sign of how his personality is going to be...the 'don't push me or tell me what to do' kind. lol!

I am basically done with shopping for Christmas, with the exceptions of some 'bag filler' aka candy. I have one thing to make for Ethan then I'm all done!! Woo hoo!!

I close with my monthly belly pic.

Hello 3rd Trimester!!

Well here I am...rounding 3rd base, heading towards home (aka baby). So excited!

I would be lying if I didn't admit to having my panic moments but all in all, I can't wait to hold my precious lil guy in my arms. I love carrying my babies in my womb and I love holding them in my arms, it's the process from point a to point b that gets me. Even though I've been through this once and had a basic text book perfect labor and delivery, all the unknowns get my heart racing. I'm confident everything will be just fine, yet it's still unnerving to think about the process to get my little guy in my arms.

During our labor and delivery tour we learned that we would be in "recovery" for 2 hours after delivery. Wow...we only had 1 hour with Ethan before they moved us to our post partum room. We know we want that first hour to be just the 3 of us. That time is so precious and can never be gotten back. We used that time with Ethan to nurse and just spend time being a family. I savored every minute we had and can still remember it like it was yesterday. Elliott deserves that same time. We decided during the 2nd hour we wanted Ethan to come in and us spend time as a whole family. They will not let Ethan in the 'recovery' room without another adult in the room, so someone can help with him and still allow hubby to tend to me and the baby. We figured there would be no way to pick just one person to come in with him, so family and friends will get to take turns coming in to 'help' and meet our new bundle.  Obviously if I deliver in the wee hours of the morning, Ethan will meet his brother after he gets up. :)

I have been feeling pretty good. I have completed my 6 weeks of physical therapy on my back and it feels awesome. I am truly amazed at the difference it made. My nose bleeds are better, minus the one I had yesterday, but it wasn't to bad. I now have a head cold so that is making things interesting. I refuse to blow my nose on the side that is prone to the bleeds but thankfully the congestion and pressure hasn't been to bad. I had some fairly painful round ligament pains earlier in the week. Followed by a pain in my groin that hurt so bad I couldn't hardly walk. I'm guessing he is having a growth spurt and my body is just trying to keep up. Who knows!?! I also started having braxton hicks, which I am not to excited about. I didn't have them this early with Ethan and since my body knows what to do already, I don't like having them at this stage. Just one more thing to think and worry about. I increased my fluid intake and it has seemed to help. Of course that means I've increased my trips to the bath room too. lol.

We had our family/maternity pictures taken. Things didn't go exactly as planned but I am loving how they turned out. Here's a few:

Buzz Buzz says the Bee...

Where has the time gone? This pregnancy is going by so fast. I can't believe I am 24 weeks already. With the holidays and several birthdays coming up, the time is going to go by even quicker. :(

We had our monthly doctor appointment yesterday and everything went well. Of course we waited longer then we actually saw the doctor but that's ok...that translates into healthy momma and baby in my book. I had, what I would call, another jump in weight but the doctor said she wasn't concerned and said it was probably just a growth spurt. I'd say so. lol. She said I wasn't on target to gain as much as I did with Ethan, so we shall see.

My only concerns right now are (1) pain in my lower right belly when I walk for any length of time, other then around my house. If I go shopping, I almost always barely make it in the door before I have to all but stop and then walk every so slowly. My doctor thinks it's just muscle spasms so I am going to go with that. She told me to just slow down and stretch before I leave the house. I hope that helps because with all the Christmas shopping I've got to do I don't have time to 'slow' down. And, (2) my darn nose bleeds. I have been doing the saline spray and humidifier, which sits on my night stand. I didn't have one for 3 weeks and was so excited then BAM out of nowhere on Saturday, during my shower no less, I got a pretty good one. Of course I didn't know I was having one until I went to dry off and realized it was all over everything. Not fun! Then got another one the next day. So my OB said to try the saline gel. Well today, before I could go get some, I had a doozy of a bleed...the worst so far. It was so bad that my rarely reactive husband says, "Maybe you really need to suck it up and just go to an ENT". What??? That definitely didn't help my nerves. I told him I wasn't ready to take that avenue just yet. I went and purchased the gel before lunch and decided after lunch I would try it out. Well...that wasn't soon enough, I ended up with another bleed before I even got through lunch. UGH!!! Since using the gel this afternoon, I haven't had one and it's rather soothing because it has Aloe in it. Just hoping and praying it works!

I've been busy like a bee: the nursery is almost completely done, making different projects, been busy with photography sessions and almost got Ethan's big boy room done.

When I originally started working on the 'main' wall in Elliott's room, I thought oh this is going to be fun. Well that didn't last long. In my opinion...stripes suck! lol. They look awesome afterwards but the process is such a pain. Then, because I saw the wall tree mural that I couldn't live without but couldn't bring myself to spend $120 on it so I got to pain it. It is by no means perfect but what fun would that be. ;) I wanted to do something different other then wooden letters for his name, so I printed off the letters and framed them. Thankfully I'm a scrapbook junky and I already had the ribbon on hand. BTW...the frames are the $.95 frames from good ole Walmart. :) I love how it turned out and in the end it was worth all the frustration.

After getting the painting done, I of course had to start filling up the rest of the room. We inherited the glider from my husband's grandmother and used it in Ethan's room. The cushions are originally a hunter green, which was fine in Ethan's room but just wasn't going to work in Elliott's room. So...next project, recover the cushions. lol. I wanted something that was thick and going to withstand the wear and tear of hours of nursing and rocking. I found the material, which is almost like a soft denim, at Walmart on clearance for 1.75 p/y. YAY!! Considering this was my first attempt at covering cushions I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. 

Onto my next crazy idea. We got Ethan a 'tag' "lovey" before he was born and he loves it. So I wanted to get one for Elliott too. One problem...they don't sell them at Walmart anymore. In fact they don't sell them hardly anywhere except online and they want $40+ for them...no thanks! Let me back up...they don't sell them with the satin tags in retail stores, now all the tags are ribbons. So I made one. lol. Again, not perfect but should do the trick and stand up to the weekly washes. Plus, I already had the minky material on hand so I just had to purchase the satin.

Then my final project right now, was the recovering of the lamp shade. I just wanted a simple little lamp to use as a night light. I didn't want to spend a bunch of money but wanted it to tie in and match the room. I'm a tight wad and couldn't find anything reasonably priced that I liked so...you guessed it...I made one. lol. I just purchased a cheap $5 lamp at Walmart and then took an old yucky shade we already had and covered it in the minky material I already had. Presto! Since taking this picture I added a 'ball' fringe around the bottom of the shade. Since his bedding has caterpillars in it, I thought the ball fringe looked like a caterpillar so I had to add it.

I can't wait to get the last few things done and post pics of the completed nursery. Not to mention, I'm ready to start washing clothes and stocking his dresser drawers and closet. :) Oh yea...I almost forgot...I ordered his 'bringing home' outfit and just got an email today saying it shipped. Eeekkk...I can't wait to see it.

 

I have gone on enough but want to wrap up this entry with a video I took the other night, showing Elliott 'excerising'. :)

A moment to brag...

Ok..I just have to post about some awesomeness I've stumbled upon lately.

I mentioned the video monitor we got such a great deal on ($70 to be exact) in my last post, well I got the extra camera, that will go in the nursery for $20.50! I couldn't hardly believe it. Not only was the price amazing, but it's brand new and comes with a warranty.

I got the double curtain rod I needed for the nursery earlier in the week. I got it on sale for $35.00 and thought that was a great price. Well, I get an ad in the mail from another store (the day after I bought it) and they have the exact same rod on clearance and the ad included a $5 off coupon. So I returned the original one I bought and purchased the other one for $15.00! Cha-ching!! :)

Ok, so off we go to my favorite hardware store to get the paint for the nursery. I am doing two different colors and then because I'm a tight wad and don't want to pay the $120 for the wall mural I fell in love with, I'm just going to paint it by hand myself. Which means we had to get an additional color of paint. My husband was not at all excited about having to purchase 3 gallons of paint when there was no way all of it would get used...but he was supportive. I had put in my order for the 2 colors I knew I wanted and was still up in the air about the mural color (thinking maybe I should get a color that could be used for something else, just so I wasn't wasting all that paint). As I was standing at the counter contemplating, my husband is roaming the area to not bare witness to my madness. I catch him waving his arms in the air from across the counter, trying to get my attention. I walk over and he points to a discounted gallon of paint and says, "Isn't this the color you were talking about the other day?" Oh. My. Gosh. there it was in all it's glory...the paint color I wanted already mixed in a $37.00 gallon of paint...marked down to $10.00! Check please!!

So, we get home tonight and start working on dinner. I had found what looked to be yummy recipe on Pinterest the other day so we decided to give it a whirl tonight. It's called Firehouse Chicken Cordon Bleu Pasta and here's the link to the recipe. It was so good! I'm hoping to get it digested before bed so I can have more. lol. My husband has had a lot of dishes in his days and can be hard to impress but he hasn't hardly stopped talking about how good it is. It's that good. ;)

After dinner was done, I checked my email to learn that I "won" a pair of shoes I had bid on for Ethan. According to the description they were only worn a few times and are in EUC. $9.00 for basically brand new Nike Reax is crazy!! Especially since they run +$50.00 brand new.

I feel like I should go buy a lottery ticket! :)

We're having a....BOY!!

We are over the moon with excitement with expecting another boy. He was being a little booger and we were beginning to think we weren't going to get to find out. He is so active and moving non stop and had his legs crossed almost the entire time. The tech was quick and noticed they were separated and went in for a peek and was able to confirm his male parts. At first I wasn't 100% sure because it was so easy to tell with Ethan but not this time. However when they handed us our pictures, there was a shot of it and it is very obvious. This one is already showing signs of being like his momma. :)  The ultrasound showed everything was great and baby was right on track, with a heart beat of 148bpm and weighing in at 13 oz.

20 weeks 4 days

 

We decided on names back during our trying to conceive process. Our boy name was easy, we knew we wanted to name him after some pretty amazing people. We came up with the perfect name, Elliott Levon. I get teared up every time my husband says his name during prayers. The name Elliott is my husband's late father's middle name and is also his grandmother's maiden name. The name Levon is my late grandfather's middle name (which was the name he went by).

Cute as a bug

I had been looking at bedding ideas for almost two weeks and I was so excited when my hubby looked at the 'options' today and said, "Lets get that one...and go ahead and order it". I couldn't believe it, since he is usually the "there's no hurry" type. He said, if we know what we want, we might as well just get it. He knows me so well. :) I love it!! The walls will be light blue and I will be painting a mural on the wall. I can't wait to get started.

Since I can't leave Ethan out we are also upgrading his room into a 'big boy' room. He is so excited, especially since it will be a baseball theme. Ever since we talked about it and he decided on what he wanted to do, he has asked if 'today' is when we are putting baseball bats in his room.

Speaking of his room...we found an amazing deal on a video monitor and since it was on my wish list we went ahead a bought it. I wanted one specifically for his room so I can tell when he's out of bed (I had several times mistaken his kicks against the wall as being up playing and went in only to discover he was still in bed...DOH!!!). Well, we got the monitor today and I love it. Better yet, we can add a camera in the nursery and use the same monitor for both rooms. Winning!!! :)

20 wks

I will finish off this post with my 20 week belly pic. I'm feeling great and couldn't ask for more. I gained more weight this month then I would have really liked but the doctor didn't seem concerned about it so I guess I won't be either. We did go have breakfast right before my appointment but I didn't eat THAT much. lol. Oh yea...and we scheduled our family/maternity pictures. I told the hubby, these moments need to be captured by a professional and not by the timer. So excited!

Busy busy busy!

Busy is the only word  I know to describe the past few weeks. Busy with photography sessions, trips out of town, doctor's appointments, a remodeling project in our kitchen, and just life in general. It's so hard to believe it's already October.

We received a free standing stove/oven so that is what got the remodeling project rolling. We had a 30+ year old built in stove/oven so we had to cut out cabinets to be able to fit our "new" stove in. Since we had tile laid when we moved in that meant there was no tile under the stove now. So, since we would hire the tile guys again to come in we figured we might as well do the other project in the same area so they could tile everything at the same time. The stove part was easy...the other project has been quite the undertaking. Our utility/laundry "closet" was in the kitchen/dining area so we decided to open up space we would move the laundry to the basement. We had to knock out walls, rerun electrical, plumbing and venting. My husband made a trip up into the attic to determine where the new lighting would be mounted and quickly discovered a LOT of spiders. So all work stopped until we could get pest control out to take care of our 'friends'. Work begins again tomorrow to finish up lighting and then the sheet rocker comes Tuesday...and will come everyday for 4 days. UGH!! Then time for the tilers to come in. It will be so worth it when it's done. The best part...I get to repaint the dining/kitchen. :)

We are hoping to get everything done in the next week and a half because once we find out the sex of the baby at our appointment on the 18th it's go time for the nursery. When I was picking out paint for the kitchen, I went ahead and picked out the paint for the nursery. I can't wait to see the ideas I have come to life. Eeeeekkkk...so excited just thinking about it.

I've really been struggling with the care for Ethan when baby gets here but after an unexpected long talk, I'm relieved to know that I can trust our wishes and requests will be respected...and he will only be a few minutes from the hospital. It is such an answered prayer and I'm so thankful I can finally relax and enjoy this pregnancy without that worry. Since I'm so OCD and like everything planned out, I'm confident that between plan A, B, C, D and E we've covered everything. ;)

On a very exciting note, papa bear got to feel baby the other night. I was so shocked, as was he. I had mentioned to him earlier in the week that I was surprised I hadn't felt the baby anymore often then I had been. I'm guessing it's just because I'm so busy and don't have a ton of time to just sit and pay attention to every little quick and quiver. After my dessert the other night, which consisted of a butterfinger fun size candy bar, baby was going crazy so I put my hand on my belly and couldn't believe I could feel it on the outside too. I told papa bear so he had to get in on the fun. Within a few short seconds he looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, I felt that...oh and again...etc". This went on for a couple minutes. I love his excitement and desire to be a part of my pregnancies.

On a sad note, Ethan has decided he is to big to call us "Momma or Dada", he only calls us "Mommy or Daddy" and corrects us if we say the other. :( It makes me so sad that he is growing up so fast. No matter what he calls us, I will always call him my baby!!

Time is flying...

Wow 4 months already. :( I can't wait to hold our precious baby in my arms but since this will be my last pregnancy I'm sad that it's going by so fast. I love being pregnant, even on the bad days. I love doing what my body was meant to do.

I have been feeling great, other then the never ending pain in my back. After having a massage and it not helping I went to the chiropractor. It wasn't until then that I realized that there was a cause of concern for my pain. I was shocked when the chiro informed me the pain was due to the fact that my right scapula (aka shoulder blade) was turned outward, causing it to stick out almost and inch farther then my left. How does that happen?? I know your body adjust, muscles relax, tendons stretch all while pregnant but what in the world causes this. Thankfully I know a PT and she recommended getting a referral from my doctor to be treated. After discussing the situation with my OB and explaining the different things I had already tried, she agreed PT was definitely the next step. She was not happy that I didn't call her earlier to talk with her about it and explained that some things don't need to wait for my appointment. Oops...lesson learned. lol. I'm looking forward to starting treatment next week and finally getting some relief.

Also during our appointment we scheduled our "big" ultrasound, where we get to see our sweet 'baby boo' for 45 minutes, and hopefully find out if we are expecting a girl or a boy. Since we drive over an hour to our appointments I was begging to be able to have both (the ultrasound and our 20 week appointment) done on the same day. They must really love me, because they made it happen. ;) So we get to have our ultrasound done first thing in the morning. Which is super exciting because we had to wait till 3:00 in the afternoon to find out with Ethan. That was like the longest day ever. lol. The clinic doesn't allow minor children to be there so we are thinking of some fun ways to tell Ethan and then some exciting things to do that day as well.

I finally knew without a doubt on Sunday (exactly 16 weeks) that I was feeling quickening. I had wondered for a few days but was 100% certain on Sunday. I'm so excited for this phase and looking forward to seeing my hubby's face when he feels it for the first time. When the nurse was listening to the HB on the Doppler at our appointment, baby was going crazy. I love it!!

I'm slowly getting Ethan's "Big Brother" hospital bag filled with all his goodies. He's gonna make out like a bandit...with Christmas in December, his birthday in February and then his hospital bag in late February/early March. Now to start working on Daddy's bag...squee...this is so much fun!!

Some days I get very over whelmed and stressed thinking of all sorts of different things. When I get down and feel like I'm loosing control I'm reminded of a hymn my Papa Shuler use to sing to me when I was a kid. This is a more modern version of the old hymn I grew up on but I enjoy the contemporary twist. Enjoy!

Anxiety Building...

As each day passes I'm flooded with an array of emotions. First and foremost, excitement. Not one day has gone by where excitement hasn't described a part of me. I'm almost giddy at thinking about all the fun things yet to come. Yet, that excitement is dampened by fear and anxiety. Fear of the things I can't control. How early could I be this time? How will I handle it if my water breaks at home? (It wasn't until my water was broke last time that I was in tremendous pain.) How would I deal with that pain during the hour drive to the hospital? How soon would we be able to leave if it happened over night (like it did with Ethan)? How would Ethan react if he woke up and we weren't home? What would I do if it happens when my husband is working and on a call and can't get home or even answer his phone to know what's going on?

Then there's the anxiety of being in the hospital, away from Ethan. How do I make it possible to keep our promise as parents that one of us would always be home to do bedtime routine and tuck him in. I can't imagine my husband driving an hour one way to come home to do the routine and then return to the hospital, another hour drive, to be with me and the baby. I don't want to be at the hospital without him but our promise to Ethan is so much more important then that. Do we just have him at the hospital till bedtime and brush his teeth, read stories, say prayers and then have my mom bring him home and put him to bed? The hospital will allow him to stay over night with us but I don't think that's fair to him. There would be no way he would get good sleep. I want him to be at the hospital as much as possible and I know that's unreasonable for a what will be 3 year old. I know it's selfish to want him up there the whole time but I want us to be a family and for him to feel included from the beginning.

I thought this pregnancy would have less anxiety then the first but I was wrong. It's a whole new level of anxiety. I thought it would be easier since we don't have to move - twice. Yet instead I find myself worrying over silly things like: Should we be buying more diapers then we are...Nursery colors...my clothes don't fit...am I doing enough to prepare Ethan. I know it's doing no good and there's the saying, "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere". Easier said then done.

Then as if all those emotions weren't enough I'm dealing with sadness. Sadness because this will be my last pregnancy. I know in my heart that I don't want more then 2 kids but there's a sadness in the fact that this is it. I love being pregnant. The highs and lows are so worth it. We have discussed the ways we will prevent pregnancy, without taking birth control for the rest of my fertile days. Even though I'm in agreeance I'm scared because, what if God forbid, something happen to either of my kids. What if we would want another? I know it's not permanent but it feels that way...especially with all the struggles we had with getting pregnant this time. How impossible would it be then?

I've spent lots of time praying with God and I know He will take care of everything and it will work out just as it's supposed to. I ask that you pray for me...for peace. Thank you!!

As 1st Trimester comes to a close...

It's hard to believe that next week is moving week...moving as in, onto 2nd Trimester. I can already tell by the signs though...increased energy and A LOT less bloat. The headaches are fewer and farther between too. Phew!!

We had our 12 week appointment today and everything is great. Measuring right on track and baby boo has a strong heartbeat of 165 bpm. When we listen at home on our Doppler not only are we enjoying the sounds of the heartbeat but also all the rolls and wiggles going on inside. We decided not to have the NT Scan. I have talked with two different ladies that had two different experiences with it. One was told her results showed an increase/likely risk for DS (down syndrome), which caused increase stress and worry for 6 months only to deliver a perfectly healthy baby. The other was told her results showed a 1 in 3000+, which she was told by her doctor basically meant a negative result, only to deliver a handsome baby boy with DS. Neither opted for the amino due to the risk of miscarriage. For myself to know 2 people personally with drastically different outcomes from the same test it was a no brainer for us. Totally not worth the risk. We will love the baby that God gives us and we will have the 20 week scan that will test for the same thing so we are confident that if it shows something at that point we will have plenty of time to adjust and educate ourselves prior to our little bundles arrival. Either way we are the most blessed people on earth to be baby boo's parents!!

After getting the stomach bug last week and losing more weight then I should have because of it, my weight is exactly the same as it was last month. I guess that's a good thing. ;)  Speaking of stomach bug, we think we picked it up at Jump Mania (an indoor bouncy house type place). We went because that is where we were wanting to have Ethan's 3rd birthday but after picking up the lovely germs there's no way we are having a party there. Not only do I not want to risk my own child getting sick again but I would feel so bad if the other kids that come to the party ended up getting sick too because of it. No thanks...not worth the risk!! So back to the drawing board on deciding on the birthday party location. I'm wanting to have it some place other then home because I know if I have it at home then it will be over the top. Whereas, if we have it in public I'm limited to what I can do. lol.

My last post was all about our big boy. Well he is officially a BIG BOY!! He tinkles and poos in the potty without any issues or accidents. I couldn't be more proud of him. When we all got sick last week with that darn stomach bug, we had to take him to urgent care for dehydration. Poor guy couldn't keep anything down. :( All the nurses and doctors were shocked that he's only 2.5 years old and already potty trained. I was so proud. For tinkling in the potty he got his fish and fishing pole which is so fun to watch. It's a tub/pool toy with an electronic fish that has a magnet in his mouth and a real working fishing pole that has a magnetic lure and/or worm to fish with. The fish swims around the water and once he 'bites' the 'bait' he flails around as he is being reeled in. It's so cute! Then for poo'n on the potty he wanted a tractor. Well just any ole Walmart cheap tractor wouldn't do so we took an hour drive time round trip to a farm and home supply store to make sure we got the best tractor money could buy. :) He picked out the package that had (2) different John Deere tractors and (1) truck.

I received the shirts I had made for Ethan and 'Dada' to wear at the hospital. They are so cute!! I originally was going to surprise Dada with his but I suck at keeping secrets from him so once it came in the mail I knew there was no way I was going to keep it on the down low for 6 months. So I had to show him right away and of course he loved it. :) We also purchased our first 'baby #2' purchase which is only making the urge to shop that much worse. lol.

Life is great!!

Big boy in the house...

Since finding out we were expecting we have included Ethan in the news. Most conversations have revolved around topics about him being a big brother. We have purchased books regarding a new baby/being a big brother, all the ways that he can help as a big brother and then the discussion about how big brothers don't wear diapers and that diapers are for babies. Originally when we started the diaper conversation his response was, "No, E-ne (which is how he says his name...and I have no idea any other way to spell it...lol) has big diapers". In fact the rare occasions of him actually going on the potty had become nonexistent. Asking if he needed to go tinkle on the potty only brought on tantrums. OY! So I had completely just stopped asking, which in turn meant there no longer were any potty trips. I was beginning to loose all hope. Then on a whim, I searched for blogs regarding the potty training boys topic (stubborn boys specifically) and came across this one blog that actually was a craft blog but had a potty training experience entry. It was awesome! Her ideas and tips were amazing so I discussed with my hubby about how I wanted to try, as she put it, having a 'pee pee party'. I explained her experience and success with it but he was super skeptic. I can't really blame him since everything we had tried before can only be defined as failure.  One of the suggestions in the blog was to hid all his diapers but get newborn or size 1 diapers and when your child gets up the morning of the surprise 'pee pee party' you go to change their diaper, trying to put on the small one. With shock in your voice and action you explain they must have grown over night and are too big for their diapers now so now they will have to wear undies. lol. Genius!! I was so ready to dig out the size 1 diapers and give it a whirl.

Then on Monday, everything changed!! Ethan was helping me put laundry in the washing machine and of course it was a load that had mine and papa bear's undies in it. As he was putting everything in the washer he said, "Wash E-ne's undies?". Without giving it a second thought, I just said, "Nope, since you wear diapers, your undies are always clean...once you wear undies then we can wash yours with momma's and dada's". Maybe 30 minutes later he, out of nowhere, says, "Tinkle Tinkle" and takes off for the bathroom. Papa bear and I just looked at each other, as to say, "Whaaaa??". After he was done I told him, to go into the living room so I could put a diaper on him. His reply was, "No, momma, E-ne a a big boy, no diapers, get undies". I almost fell over.

He has worn undies ever sense. I still can't hardly believe it. Of course we have had a few accidents but just little tinkles where he just doesn't make it quick enough, but no soaking through, leaking on the carpet sort of accidents. I'm so proud of him. I think him "making the decision all on his own" was our secret. He sort of comes by that trait naturally...lol!! We are still putting him in pull ups over night...well to be honest...I enjoy my sleep. I know it's horrible to say but if he gets up at 7:30 and wants to play quietly until 8, I am ok with that but I can't expect him to hold his bladder until I get up. Baby steps for this momma. :)  It did however, feel AWESOME to pull all diapers out of the diaper bag and replace them with undies and extra clothes.

On another note...I can tell 2nd trimester is nearing because I'm feeling really good. My only complaint (because, we all know I always have to have one...lol) is some muscle pain in my back. It's almost impossible to sit in a dinner room table type chair. Unless I can sorta recline, I'm miserable. I don't know if it's just from bending over a lot with Ethan or what but it sucks. It's just on my right side right about where my bra strap is across my back. I finally decided I was going to get my heating pad out and put it to work, only to discover it no longer works. Ugh...just my luck. It's on my list of things to purchase ASAP! I've been battling a darn headache at the base of my neck too but I'm almost 100% positive it's from lack of sleep. Who knows...the two may be connected. I may have a massage in the near future.

Baby boo seems to be doing great. We rented a Doppler and it was delivered Monday. Of course we had to put it to use right away. Heartbeat was detected and going strong at 156. :) There is no denying sweet baby boo is growing like a weed. Here's a little belly series shot.

10 weeks on 8.5.12

Ultrasound...

The day finally arrived!! I woke up at 6:00 this morning having to pee and then couldn't go back to sleep because I was overcome with excitement.

Thankfully our appointment was fairly early at 10:00 AM and since we live an hour from the doctor it helped make the morning go by much faster. Of course the doctor was running 45 minutes behind but we had waited 8 weeks (5 really) so surely we could wait a few extra minutes. After being weighed and checked in we waited some more. The nurse told us that the doctor would come in, talk with us, go over any questions and then step out for me to get undressed to do the exam and ultrasound. Ok...no biggie. Well the doctor finally comes in and asks, "Why do you still have your clothes on?" After explaining to her what the nurse said, she said, "Oh geez...new help...I'll step out so you can get undressed...I'll be back". So again...we waited!!

She came back in and got right to it. Suddenly I was so nervous. I just prayed and prayed for good news. Then up on the screen popped the cutest lil' "baby boo" ever. The doctor quickly moved the 'wand' (aka vaginal ultrasound) to check to make sure there was just one baby and discovered a "mass". She said it could be blood behind the uterus but since I'm not having any bleeding or spotting it more then likely was a twin that didn't develop. WOW...was not expecting that.



8 week 'baby boo' looking right at the camera.

Same picture as above just with descriptions to help know what your seeing.



After checking everything out and determining everything looked great, the doctor went back to focus on our amazing sweet baby. As she was measuring 'it', 'it' started wiggling and moving it's arm back and forth. It was breathtaking. Such a miracle!! Measuring right on track and with a strong heart beat of 160...in the words of Mary Poppins, "Perfect in every way"!!

Feelin' great...

Since my last post I've discovered that freshly squeezed lemon juice in my ice cold water is the miracle cure for my morning/all day sickness. Thank the Lord!!! The headaches have finally subsided and I haven't had a nosebleed in several days. YAY!!

8 Weeks

I can't believe we finally made it to week 8! It seems like so long ago that we got our BFP. This week is a special week because we get to have our first ultrasound done. When we had our first ultrasound with Ethan I was only 7 weeks along he just looked like a "tube" with a heartbeat. He wasn't moving around yet and his arms and legs had barely 'budded' so he literally just looked like a peanut on the screen. This time around I will be 8 weeks and 4 days so we should be able to see lil' baby boo moving too. :)

Not a whole lot has been going on around here. Last Friday we went on our first one-on-one date in almost 2 years (minus a double date we went on last year). We had a great time but it was still hard leaving Ethan behind, especially when he loves baseball so much (we went to a minor league Triple A Cardinals baseball game). We decided next time we go we will get 'lawn tickets' and take him with us. I think he will love it and I personally will probably be more comfortable on the ground rather then sitting straight up in close quarters in the seats.

We don't miss 'going out'. We were home bodies before we became parents so we don't mind just hanging out at home. Plus, we are both firm believers in the fact that we decided to 'have a family' so we can do things 'as a family'. So we don't mind finding activities to do that is fun for all of us. We understand that we need 'mommy and daddy' time but we mostly spend the time away from Ethan, just talking about him. :)

Since we are so blessed with family that just loves to spend time with Ethan, we already have another date night planned for Friday. Should be a week of good times.

Changes...

Nosebleeds, headaches and nausea...oh my!!! This pregnancy is definitely different then with Ethan. The nausea has been slowly building over the past few days. No matter what I eat, nothing seems to help. However, waiting too long between meals definitely makes it worse. Thankfully it's not to the point of making me hurl but I don't hardly have the strength or energy to do anything. I'm so glad playing with trucks, doing ABC flash cards or watching TV can all be done while laying down. I was so hopeful that I wouldn't be affected by it mainly so it wouldn't interfere with being a mom. When I was pregnant with Ethan the nausea was so mild and was mainly triggered by smells. I have cut back on my eating but only because nothing sounds good. Peanut butter crackers and jello are my go to snacks because it seems like one or the other always taste good. I started taking B6, since it's supposed to help with the nausea. I've only been taking it for 2 days so hopefully it kicks in within the next week. I really don't want to add the unisom because I'm already so tired and there would be no way I could function with that in my system.

The nosebleeds are something completely new for me. They are so random...I don't get it. I don't like dealing with blood anyway so they are not helping with the nausea at all!! Then the headaches kicked in last night. I hate headaches enough as it is when nothing else is bothering me, now they are just pissing me off. I'm like..."REALLY...now this too"!!

I'm amazed the difference my body is handling this pregnancy with just the 3 short years it's been since my pregnancy with Ethan. It really is true what they say...mid thirties brings on a whole new ball game on how your body deals with things. I will survive and I've said it before...it's only temporary. Hopefully temporary in the sense of just a few short weeks (aka 6, which will put me into the 2nd trimester) and not in the sense of temporary like 33 weeks. Either way, I'll get through it and it will be worth in the end. At this point, it's just confirming that my body is doing what it needs to do for a healthy pregnancy...and that I am ok with.

Oh the Joys...

I am not a superstitious person but with today being Friday the 13th, people tend to be a little more crazy on days like this. So I try to avoid the crazies at all cost. lol.

I'm feeling really good. The gas has subsided, which is reason to celebrate in my book. My appetite has continued but thankfully I still haven't gained any weight. Most would be excited to get to eat and eat and eat...but that's not how I work. Eating is exhausting. A constant battle of trying to decide what to eat and what sounds good, drives me batty. I wish I could just eat and enjoy it but instead as I'm eating, I'm thinking to myself, "Ugh...what am I going to eat in 2 hours when I'm going to be hungry again...it took me 20 minutes to decide what to eat this time!?!" Then add what to feed Ethan for meals and snacks and so on and so on and so on. Oy!!

Ethan had been getting up earlier then normal, for what ever reason, for the past couple weeks. So my very smart hubby decided to get out some of his old hot wheels, boats & trailers, tractors, etc. and give them to Ethan to play with. He decided to put them in a basket in Ethan's room with the thought that he would play with them once he got up and give me a little bit more time to sleep. [Earlier than normal = 7-8 AM compared to the normal 9-9:30 AM] It worked!! I could hear him playing but was able to get a few more minutes of rest before I had to roll out of bed. Not to mention how fun it is just to listen to him playing and making car, boat, tractor, motorcycle, etc. noises thru the monitor.

Fast forward to this morning. I heard him at 8:00 but he was happy so I just rolled over. When he's ready for me to get up, he knocks on his door and says, "Momma, up please". Well, after going back to sleep I heard the knock and thought, "ok...so much for sleeping in". Then I looked at the clock and it was 10:00!! WOW! He must have really been having fun and I must have really been tired. So I get myself together...open his door...and O.M.G.S.H.!!!!!! His room was destroyed!!

He had pulled his toy box out of his closet and pulled every toy out. He opened a case of diapers. Thankfully his laundry basket was empty but he pulled his shirts off of their hangers and put them into the laundry basket. He emptied all drawers of his dresser and 80% of the toys and books off the toy shelves.

All that is good and fine. No big deal...big mess that can easily be cleaned up. Well...as you can see the top drawer of the dresser is open...with the assistance of a basket turned upside down to be used as a step. In that top drawer is a mixture of things...gloves, hats, travel sheet, his baptism outfit and blanket. There's also a little basket (that can be seen on top of the shelf, next to the dresser) it holds odds and ends like missing socks, allen wrench, a CD of children's music and a small tube of Vaseline. As you can guess...the Vaseline was discovered. Ethan is a pro at unscrewing lids and 'helping' himself.

When I first walked into his room I was over whelmed with the mess so I laid down on his bed. He climbed up to lay down with me so I asked for a hug. I immediately knew something was up. His skin was soooo soft. My first thought was he got his bottle of lotion off the shelf in the closet. Then I took a closer look and his hair looked very wet. I thought to myself...'Oh golly...this can only mean one thing...". I asked Ethan to show me what he had put on his arms and legs and hair. He went straight to it..like it was right where he left it. GREAT!! I had completely forgot about it being in there.

So he got a Dawn® bath. So thankful for that stuff!! It did the trick of getting it out of his hair and off his skin. I was so afraid of getting it in his eyes but he did great. Now I just need to wash his shirt in it so I can get all the lovely grease out of it too. I will say...his skin is still very soft and I'm sort of jealous by it's softness. I mean "baby's" skin is always soft but this is like rubbing cotton balls kind of soft. If it wasn't such a mess I would 'treat' my own skin. lol.

I guess Ethan thinks since it's Friday the 13th he can act crazy!! lol

Sweet Pea...

Sunday's have always been special to me but they hold an even more special meaning now...they mark a new week in my pregnancy journey. And this week marks week #6!!!

Baby's the size of a sweet pea.

 I'm feeling great, other then feeling like I could eat a house at all times of the day. I haven't gained any weight but I have literally added another meal about 4 hours after dinner. I'm exhausted by mid day but thankfully Ethan is on a roll with taking good naps (2-3 hours) so that means this momma gets a good nap too. :)

The gas pains are better. I didn't try the lemon water but the Mylicon has been a life saver. I usually only have issues at night, for what ever reason. BM's are still awful. Thankfully I'm not constipated but the movement of the air in my intestines is ridiculous. I tell my body...bring it on, I'm up for the challenge! It's worth it...and I would take this over morning sickness any day. On a positive note, I have had to up my bra size. ( . Y . ) lol.

We've been talking more and more to Ethan about him being a big brother. Of course he is very excited...now. He calls the baby, "baby boo" and nothing is sweeter then him saying, "Thank you Jesus for baby boo, Amen". I think I've found what I want for his new bedding...aka big boy bedding. Glad I found it early because I'm going to have to save to buy it. lol. The plan is to get him his when we get the baby's. Trying to incorporate him as much as possible. I'm on the hunt for my old cabbage patch dolls, one of which is a boy, so he can practice being a big brother. I asked him how he was going to help me with the baby and he said, "fold clothes" and "rub lotion"...as in rub the lotion on the baby. I can't wait for all his help.

Right now I have one baby growing inside me that is the size of sweet pea and I have toddler who is being a sweet pea. I love my life!!

Pain in my...

We had our appointment with our nurse yesterday. We went over medical history, filled out paperwork and I had blood work done. Oh joy!! Since we live an hour from the doctors office and we were headed to my grandma's that afternoon, we had to take Ethan with us. He did so good, but when I had to get the blood drawn, we decided it was best for my hubby and Ethan to stay in the waiting room. I was determined to do this on my own! They sat me in a room with 3 chairs, two of them already being occupied. So I sat down and waiting for what seemed like 10 minutes, which was probably closer to 2-3. The crappy part about this was I had to sit and see the other two people get their blood drawn. They were placed just 'perfectly' so no matter where I looked I could see them, either straight on or by my peripheral vision. YUCK!! I just ended up having to shut my eyes. Of course no one was talking, so that just made it mentally worse. The nurse finally came over and started to prep my right arm, when I said, "I think it's best if you use my left arm, it has a better vein". Since I knew there were going to be several vials (6 to be exact), I didn't want to deal with that after her having to 'search' for a vein. She was quick and it didn't hurt...except mentally. "All done, you're free to go" is what she said as she slapped a gauze 'wad' and tape on my arm.  Ugh...I hate the darn tape...why can't they always use that non-adhesive/stick to itself wrap?! As we were leaving, my husband says he has to go to the bathroom so I took Ethan on to the truck to get him loaded. As we were walking thru the parking lot I look down at my arm and see already the blood has soaked thru the gauze. WTH!! That so did not help my unsettled stomach. After getting us all loaded into the truck, I had to take a few minutes to recover. That is one thing about myself that frustrates me the most, but I've been this way my whole life, Lord knows nothing is going to change it now.
One of my biggest concerns has been the gas. OMGSH...it's so ridiculous. Not 'releasing' it...if I could do that I'm sure I would feel so much better. It just builds and builds and gurgles and becomes sooo painful. Like unable to move, break out in a sweat kind of pain. Nothing like I've ever experienced. The nurse said Mylicon drops work wonders on adults just as they do on babies. WOW really!! They were amazing for Ethan when he was a baby so I can't wait to try them for myself. Just in case they don't work I also read that warm water with freshly squeezed lemon juice works great. So I will be doing that too.

Bloat at 4 wks

I remember having a bloat bump with Ethan but not this early. This is out of control. This picture was taken a week ago, at 4 weeks, and you can plainly see the difference from when I get up compared to when I go to bed. As much as I can't hardly wait to have a bump, this is so not the way I want it.  As painful as it is I will take it any day of the week over 'morning sickness'. I keep telling myself, it's only temporary and it will be worth it in the end when I get to hold our sweet baby in my arms.

After our appointment we had a lunch date with one of my best friends...at my favorite place, Schlotzsky's! Yummy!! Lunch was great but what I really was looking forward to was the pedi's we went to get afterwards. Not only was the pedi A-MAZ-ING but to just sit and talk was awesome! Being a SAHM I don't get these little moments very often, so when I get the chance for one on one 'girl friend' conversation I don't hardly shut up. My friend is pregnant and due in August and she is so cute with her baby bump. Getting to live the past 7 months thru her pregnancy has been so fun. I can't wait for her little guy to get here. Hearing all about her pregnancy has really helped me through my struggles and ups and downs of the past 9 months.

Happy 4th!! So thankful for our freedoms that so many veterans have fought for this country to have. Above that, I'm so grateful to Jesus for fighting for our soul's freedoms. God Bless!!

Up up up...

Up is a word that describes a lot of things right now. Up describes the temperature outside, which is historically high, setting a record yesterday and expected to do so a few more times this week. In the past 12 months we are 15" behind on rain that is needed. Up also describes my spirit right now. There is just something about believing 100% in God's timing. Even on my worst of days, He always lifted me Up!! Up also describes my own attitude. Something about having a dream come true that does that for a person. :)

And...drum roll please...Up describes my HCG beta levels. When my Dr called me today I was so nervous but that was quickly diminished by the sound of her voice. The first statement out of her mouth after confirming it was really me, was "Congratulations"!! She said your levels are normal so we need to get your ultrasound scheduled. Woo Hoo!!! I just had to know what the levels were...a whooping 500.2. I couldn't be happier!!!

My ultrasound is scheduled for July 26th!! :)

Here's a quick peek into my HPT obsession:

**Click on the picture to enlarge**

Celebrate...

Just wanted to give a quick update...

The nurse at my Dr. office called me today with the results from yesterday's HCG beta check. She said it came back at 16.6. Initially she was concerned with the number, stating it was low. To my surprise, I wasn't concerned...probably because I spent some time with 'Mr. Google' last night trying to research all I could about HCG levels in early pregnancy. From what I found at 3 weeks pregnant, a "normal" HCG level ranges between 5 - 50.

I informed the nurse that I was only 10DPO yesterday and her response was, "Oh, then that's probably about right for as early as you are". She sounded as anxious as I am about my second draw scheduled on Monday. LOL!

I'm feeling super positive though. I took another HPT today and the line was darker today then it was yesterday. Already the lines are darker now then they ever were in February. YAY!!

As you know by now, I'm always thinking and planning something. So I've been thinking about how and when to tell our family. Of course I probably won't be able to hold it in much longer from my family. I'm basically just waiting on the right time to take my digital HPT and for it to display the wonderful word...PREGNANT!! I don't want to waste it so I will probably wait to take it till after I get the results from Monday's blood draw. As for my hubby's family...here's what I'm thinking. When we announced the news with Ethan, it was when family was visiting from out of town for the 4th of July holiday. So since family will again be visiting for the holiday...how fun would it be to announce again...and with the same due date.  Who knows...there's plenty of time to decide between now and then. In the end, it's when ever the hubby is comfortable announcing it. I will say...having the blood work come back to confirm really helped it to sink in with him. :)

Oh...and one last thing...I asked Ethan, yesterday, if he wanted to be a big brother, and he said, "Uh huh"...nodding his head yes. I said do you want a baby sister or baby brother...his response was, "baby sister". :)  How sweet is that. Of course I had to ask him again today and his answer was still the same. He sure knows how to make my heart sing.

Thankful for my many blessings...

Special Day...

This cycle as been so off from my normal cycles. Between my temps being higher then normal and my ovulation day being in question I didn't even know what to think of this cycle.

I tried not to put to much thought into this cycle, for other reasons as well. When we got pregnant with Ethan it was during the month of May. So many thoughts have been going through my head...wouldn't it be cool if..., oh, what if...I wonder if..., etc. I took an HPT on Father's Day, June 21st in 2009 and got a positive and was really hoping to be able to do that again, but that wasn't going to happen because Father's Day was early this year. So I began to 'get real' with myself.

I was convinced I wasn't going to have any symptoms this month. Even if I had some, I wasn't going to pay any attention to them. On CD22...holy sore boobs!!! I didn't even want my husband to look at them, let alone touch them. This has been the case since. Yesterday I took a HPT and of course it was negative. Then last night a massive vein appears on my left boob and I think to myself, "where the hell did that come from". So this morning...June 21st (CD26) I took another HPT and it was a super faint positive. Did you catch that...A BFP!!!! I began to get excited but I'm trying to remain realistic. So 1.5 hours later I couldn't resist and had to take another test. This time I took a different HPT and just for fun, did an OPK too. ::picture cartoon character eyes popping out of a head, with a Ford Model T horn honking:: Both very positive.

Ok, that sealed the deal for me. I put a call into my OB to see what the game plan should be, but wanted to make sure they kept our appointment on July 2nd, in case something happened between now and then. The nurse returned my call in less then 15 min and informed me my Dr wanted me to come in for a beta check today and then again on Monday to make sure my 'levels' were increasing.  So, since no one who lives close to us knows of our 'trying' and my hubby was working, I didn't have a choice but to take Ethan with me to have my blood drawn. He did so good so afterwards we went to eat lunch with Dada. The nurse suspected she would have the results within 4 hours and she would let me know the results as soon as she had them. I'm not expecting her to call today but looking forward to her call in the morning.

Until then, we celebrate this little life and pray for a healthy happy 9 months!!!

P.S. My EDD is 3.3.13...and for the record Ethan's EDD was 3.3.10 ~ CRAZY!!

What the...

Just when I think I've got something figured out...WHAM...curve ball. Ugh!!

This cycle has been very different then the past eight. My temps have been high, for me, and I'm so confused as to why. I mentioned something to my hubby a week ago about it but figured they would come down the closer to 'O' time. NOPE...of course not...that would be to easy. For what ever reason I started testing with my OPKs on CD9. I don't know why I started testing so early, I guess I just had this urge to pee on something...lol. CD14 finally arrives and I pee on one OPK just before lunch...it's almost positive but not quite. Then I peed on my evening one at 7ish and it is definitely a positive...woo hoo!! On CD15 both tests were positive and I had cramping (on my left side...like always). I was sure it was 'O' day. So CD16 comes and my morning test is darker then I expected but not really a positive and by the evening test it's for sure a negative. Wham bam thank you ma'am...our timing couldn't have been better...but that's not really any different then the past 9 months.

Then CD17 arrives and a huge temp drop...what the??? That has never happened and doesn't make any sense. I think to myself, well the A/C wasn't on, the windows weren't open and I was sleeping in the same thing I had been for several days. ((I try to change as little as possible about my environment when 'O' day is approaching.)) Sure I probably slept with my mouth open...but that is definitely something that I do every night. So I figured...maybe it's because I only got 4.5 hours of sleep, the night before. Even though I know, less sleeps equals higher temps, it was the only thing that was different and out of the ordinary.

So today, CD18...an increase in my temps but not even back up to where they were. So tonight I decided to pee on another stick (I just ordered more that will be here Monday anyway so what could it hurt). It wasn't quite positive but it looked exactly like the morning test did on CD14. So I logged on to Fertility Friend (FF) and put in some dummy temps, with a slight increase for the next few days, to see what it would say/show. It doesn't give my 'cross hairs' until Monday, showing 'O' day as today...and they are dotted to boot. If you don't chart I'm totally speaking gibberish right now...but in layman's terms 'cross hairs' are a vertical and horizontal line on a BBT chart. The vertical line signifies when your 'projected' ovulation day was and the horizontal line (aka cover line) is just for visual purposes. Generally, as long as your temps stay above the cover line (which is .10 degrees above your highest temp for the last 6 temps prior to ovulation) it shows a shift in your temps (which is necessary for ovulation) and you're more likely to be pregnant. Dotted cross hairs says things aren't adding up but here's our best guess. [click the link on the right titled "My Chart" to see my chart and get an idea of what I'm talking about]

I'm so beyond frustrated!!

On a different note...I had my follow up Dr appointment, regarding my ER visit almost 2 weeks ago. This was the first time I had met this Dr so I didn't know what to expect. He looks a tad dorky but he is super nice. I appreciated him being straight forward and saying..."here's what it could be...here's why I don't think it's this...here's why I think it's this...here's the treatment plans for possibility A, B and C". He acknowledged and respected our fertility journey and said we would fit treatment around my cycles. I was impressed and felt at ease when we left. He, like the ER Dr, thinks it's an ulcer. He said it could still be my gall bladder but not likely. He said not stones but possibly 'sludge'. The plan is to finish my prescription of Prevacid and give it time to get out of my system to see if my symptoms return. If they don't..yahoo...problem solved and should it return it likely could be treated with OTC meds. Definitely best case scenario. If my symptoms return, I will go in for an upper GI (aka scope). Being slightly sedated, then have a tube/camera stuck down my throat to view the damage/confirm the ulcer and to get sample tissue to test for the bacteria that is known to cause the peptic ulcer. If that test confirms the ulcer I will be put on 'several rounds of strong antibiotic...meaning 2-3 different kinds at a time...for several weeks'. Ugh...ok...not my favorite scenario but do able. If the scope doesn't show anything, testing will be done to further check my gall bladder. Yee Haw...no thanks!! Praying for a simple, quick recovery.

No time for these praying knees to get lazy!

Taking the next step...

Well I made the call and set up our 2nd fertility appointment. The first one we scheduled we cancelled because we got our BFP. I'm excited and sad at the same time. Sad at the fact that it's come to this and for what ever reason after 9 months of trying and having perfect timing, we just haven't been successful. Excited because I am so ready to take the necessary steps in figuring out if there's an underlying reason for what I would call our 'unexplained infertility'.

I'm confident that my OB won't brush us off but I have this fear that she won't take a very aggressive approach since: a) we already have one child, and b) since I had the miscarriage in February (5 months into our TTC journey). When we met with her to confirm the pregnancy/loss, she was very supportative in being as aggressive as we wanted to be. So that gives me hope.

In the past 9 months I have really changed my habits/diet. I make a conscious effort to eat healthier, drink lots of water (which is a huge step for me) and if I have bad day I allow myself to drink a caffeine free drink. I have tried to educate myself in ways to best prepare my body to be in the best 'shape' possible to be a welcoming environment to grow a little miracle for 40 weeks.

All of a sudden out of nowhere, last Friday I couldn't eat or drink anything without being in such awful pain. Then, not eating brought on the same effects. I tolerated it as long as I could and decided to go to urgent care on Sunday, after church. The staff advised me that they were so limited on what they could do (not able to run any lab test, ultrasound, etc) so they advised me to go to the ER. They got me checked in, got some blood, urine and then did an ultrasound of my "upper quadrant", checking my liver, right kidney, pancreas and gall bladder. After the results were in, the Dr let us know everything looked good and she suspected that the pain is probably due to a peptic ulcer. She advised me to follow up with my primary dr this week and that a scope would likely be done to confirm it that is what was causing the pain. She prescribed a couple different drugs and had a nurse come in to administer them. The first thing was a Prevacid, and then gave me a GI cocktail. OMG...that was one of the most non pleasant things I've ever drank. It really should be given with a straw. My entire mouth, lips, tongue, and throat was numb. Scary stuff...I did not like the feeling at all.

So after I drank that the nurse asked if I wanted the pain killer the dr had ordered, I said no, if this was going to work and get me some relief, I didn't need anything else. Well it didn't do anything for the pain so I said, 'Yup, I'm going to need something else...this is only numbing my throat'. I just loved how the nurse responded by saying, "I'm not surprised"...well then why in the world didn't you explain that to me to begin with. UGH!! I couldn't even understand what she was calling it, she just kept saying it was a 'pain reliever'. Then she said do you want it in your butt or your arm??...HUH???...I said, 'oh, it's a shot'...well I picked my arm. Well it definitely did the trick, I no longer had any pain but yikes...I didn't hardly feel anything. Maybe 10 minutes went by and she came in with my discharge papers. I asked if it was a muscle relaxer and she said no, "it's the strongest narcotic we have". 'Oh, ok' ((I looked over at my husband and said well that explains why I'm feeling like I am)). She said, don't worry, I will get you a wheel chair. DUH...there was no way I could walk out. Surprisingly we weren't there very long from the time we checked in till I was being wheeled out...about 2.5 hours.

She pushed me outside and we waited while my hubby went to get the car. As I was sitting there waiting, I just started feeling really weird and told the nurse, "I think I need to lay down". She said, yea it's hot out here, let me push you back inside in the air conditioning. Well, that didn't work, so again I told her I needed to lay down. So she pushed me over to a double chair (two chairs with no arm in the middle) and laid me down. She started yelling at the security guard to get someone to help her (I'm guessing at this point I looked like Casper's twin). I vaguely remember another nurse being there and getting me back in the wheel chair so they could lay me down on a bed. I again, said, I just really need to lay down...and that's the last thing I remember until I was in a room and they were trying to get me into a bed. I was barely conscious and between my blood pressure bottoming out and the affects of the medicine (which I now know is called Dilaudid) I couldn't hardly open my eyes, let alone be of any assistance to get myself into bed. I do remember thinking, oh please don't drop me. After they got me back into the bed and got me hooked up to the monitors, panic set in...my BP was only 60/43 with a pulse of 47.

I was given a dose of something to counter act the Dilaudid and hooked up to an IV, that was running wide open. They brought me some crackers, peanut butter and a sprite...which was really appreciated since I hadn't eaten since breakfast, which was just a handful of cheerios. Every time I tried sitting up, my BP would drop and I would get sick to my stomach...this went on for several hours. They had to give me another dose of meds that counter the affects of the Dilaudid and then gave me something for the nausea. Five hours after I was initially discharged, I was finally able to sit upright and make it to the car.

I'm so thankful for the Prevacid because it is really helping but I'm worried because although it's Category B for pregnancy, I hate to take anything that could affect an unborn child. I'm just hoping and praying I will only have to be on it for a few weeks to give the ulcer time to heal and then I won't have to take it anymore, or at least long enough to get through a pregnancy.  I know in the end, I will do what ever I have to do for a healthy pregnancy...whether I like it or not.

Customer Service

Wow...is really all I can say. I'm in a state of shock.

As I have posted before, when I test with OPKs or HPTs I use the Wondfo test that I buy off Amazon. I lurk from time to time on the TTC forum on The Bump. Through  my lurking I learned that there was a bad 'batch' of HPTs from Wondfo. Some people were getting false negatives and some were getting false positives...YIKES!! I went to check my stash and sure enough I was 'lucky' enough to have the bad batch. Well I didn't want to deal with the mental obsession of wondering if the tests were right so I contacted Wondfo regarding my concern.

Well today, via FedEx I received this...for FREE!!!
(10) strips
(20) cassettes

I couldn't believe it. All they asked is that I test each kind, take a picture of the result and email it to them.

These test are so reasonably priced already I would have never guessed they would do something like this. It makes me really think about the age old saying, "You get what you pay for", which obviously doesn't apply to this situation.

So before I step off my soap box for the day, maybe keep this in mind before you go and buy HPTs (or OPKs for that matter) at Wal-Mart. I'm pretty sure customer service like this is not practiced by very many companies.

Disappointment...

Well here I am...CD2. Another month behind me. Another month to try. This month was extra disappointing because everything was saying "YES" on my chart. Yet, God said, "NO". My chart was almost text book positive...it was triphasic (a triphasic chart shows three levels of temperatures: pre-ovulation, post-ovulation, and then a second rise around 7-10 days after ovulation) and actual symptoms, not just 'phantom symptoms'.  I'm so mad at myself for letting my guard down and getting excited. Doing so only made the disappoint that much harder to deal with.

I keep telling myself maybe we need to take a break...but who am I kidding. NO WAY am I giving up. No matter how hard month after month of disappointment is, my desire to bring another child into this world is greater and stronger then all the disappointment. It is my faith that has brought me through all the ups and downs I've experienced in my life...and it is my faith that will bring me through this too.

I always try to think of something positive in every situation so here's my positive spin on this situation. When I got pregnant with Ethan, I stopped taking my BCP and had got my period on May 26, 2009 and on June 21st we got our BFP! So here we are 3 years later and I start my period on May 27th. Maybe it's just God's plan for our kids to have birthdays within a few days of each other. Ethan was 2 weeks early but a lot of times the 2nd child comes sooner then the EDD, so it could be very possible that they would have birthdays very close. What would be really crazy, is if we were blessed with another child this month, they too came 2 weeks early and were born on 2/21/13...not only would my kids be 3 years and 1 day apart but my dad would have 4 grand kids with birthdays right in a row that month (2/18, 2/19, 2/20 & then 2/21). Oh how funny that would be! :)  I'm a hopeful optimist and I'm also an OCD planner, so these thoughts just come naturally.

A girl can hope and dream...

Anxiety Builds...

It's been awhile since my last post but I've been trying to keep myself busy. I've tried not to think to much about all the details of the TTC journey; the timing, the symptoms, the 'what ifs'; the meds; the temps; the tests; etc. I've done fairly well. ::pats self on back:: So, instead I've been spending time organizing this and that around the house; playing outside in the beautiful weather with my lil man; being more compassionate with my best friend/hubby, and really putting into perspective the things that are important to me. Not to mention being so thankful for all the wonderful blessings I've been given.

My organization led me to Ethan's room and sorting through clothes that no longer fit or are now out of season. As I was going through his closet I came across a few 'big brother' items I have already purchased for him, but had tucked away. I just sat in the middle of his room, crying and loosing all control. I had done so good and then BOOM my mind was going crazy. What if this is our month; what fun way would we tell everyone; analyzing every symptom I've been having but brushing off; how I would explain to Ethan that he would be a big brother; what would we do with all the stuff in the spare bedroom. So much excitement came flooding over me. The anxiety soon took over my body. I'm handling this month so differently then the previous, but I guess when you have your heart broken for 7 months in a row you get use to the let down. As always, I am hopeful and cautiously optimistic but I'm also reminding myself that this too could be like 6 of the past 7 months. I've come to terms with that and know if not today, then someday...that's what faith is all about.

Now that I've allowed myself to acknowledge the symptoms I've been having, I'm anxious for the weekend. Between our outstanding timing, amazingly good CM (which mind you was all natural...I didn't take anything for it. YAHOO!! You may remember I stated in my last entry that I purchased the pre-seed...well it was delivered the day after I ovulated so it didn't do any good this month.) and positive symptoms that include crazy sore boobies, random cramping off and on since 'O' and extreme exhaustion...my hopes are extra high this month. :) Only time will tell...


Here is a song that we sang at church on Sunday and it really hit home with me. Enjoy!

Room to breathe...

We are now eight months into this journey and the helplessness is really setting in. I have the "WHY" conversation with God on a daily basis. I just don't understand. It's nearly impossible to not feel like a failure. I can slowly feel the depression creeping in. I know we are doing everything we can possibly do, but it doesn't make it any easier.

This month I have been much more laid back in the fact of telling my self it's ok to just let go for a few days. So, today was the first time in a week that I have taken my temp. It was never really that much of a bother but we were away from home for a few days and I didn't want to have to worry about stressing if the change in schedule or sleeping arrangements were affecting my temps. Yet, today they seemed higher then normal and I've had weird twinges going on and I'm mentally obsessed with 'why'. I also haven't taken all the supplements to help with CM. I will begin taking the "Fertile CM" supplement tonight, because it helps with preparing the uterine lining. Instead, I ordered preseed, so we shall see if it's worth the darn $20 it cost.

Today was mine and my amazing husband's 3rd anniversary. Our relationship didn't start out easy either...it was kinda complicated. Hubby is still on vacation and we had nothing planned today, which I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend the day. Even though Ethan rolled into the wall at 5 am and bumped his head causing him to wake up, I didn't mind. Was I ready to get up at 5 am...umm no...but it was great to have him laying next to me on the couch, slowly drifting off back to sleep. I have already been given the greatest gift ever and even though on this journey I have bad days I still know it's worth it. It's worth all the frustration, it's worth all the tears, it's worth all the "practice", it's worth all hopes and dreams. No matter how long my journey, it will all be worth it. I can't wait to someday be blessed with another child and be able to look into their eyes and tell them..."You were worth it all"!!