This month I challenged myself to 30 days of working out my thighs. My intention was to continue some ab exercises also, but that's where "failure" comes in. To me the most important part was working out my legs and by the time I finished those exercises, I didn't feel much like doing anything else. Mainly because my legs were like jell-o. There were a few days that I did planks. I gave up sooner then I should have but maintained a minimum 90 second plank every time. As you will be able to see, the result of my 'failure' resulted in loosing definition in my abs. I'm not doing any of this to get "ripped", but I am frustrated with myself for loosing ground on what I worked so hard to gain.
Another area that I failed in, is the darn scale. UGH!! For whatever reason, I drag myself on it every day...thinking it will be different then the day before. Again...I haven't changed my eating habits at all since I started this journey. I still have the same ole eating habits as before. Even when I wasn't exercising at all the scale was consistent. I believed that working out would be the difference is lowering the number. Well, last month I gained a little weight. Sure enough, this month, I gained weight again. Here's the frustrating part...if you look at my weight on June 30th vs. July 30th, I'm actually down one pound. However, in the middle of the month, I was five pounds lighter then I ended up being at the end of the month. I know, I should be celebrating the small things, in the fact that I did "lose" weight but in the scheme of things...it should have been more.
Phew...I'm going to 'verbalize' this and it is so hard to say and admit "out loud". I am still nursing my 17 month old son. I love it. I treasure it and am savoring the moments that will end much sooner then I want them too...just because he is growing up too fast. My husband (jokingly) gives me a hard time about it...all the time. Telling me I'm doing it more for myself then for our son. There's a lot more truth to that statement then he even knows. The truth of the matter is...fear. Fear in myself. Fear in old habits. Fear of not having the strength. Fear of my eating disorder. I can try to sugar coat it and deny it until I'm blue in the face but at the end of the day...that's what it is. Not in the sense that I would wither away to nothing. Not a chance...I like food to much for that to happen. But, in the past if I ever wanted to lose weight I just wouldn't eat. I would eat enough to get by...like one meal a day...but nothing like what a grown healthy woman should. By nursing, I know I can't do that. It's about someone else. Someone else who is relying on me. I have to have those calories to provide nourishment for my baby. Without that duty, if you will, I fear falling back into my old mindset. I'm enjoying working out and I look forward to it, so I pray daily that it will help me focus my energy and thoughts to achieve the end result...the healthy way!
Legs ended up being harder then I originally anticipated. After the first week, I thought it was going to be a breeze. Wrong! Like I said, my thighs were like jello-o. One night, about a week ago, after my routine, I went into the basement...I didn't know if I was going to make it back up the stairs. lol. I took pictures, of course, and have mixed feelings. I don't really see any results. I'm guessing it's because I had such high expectations, from the great results last month. My husband disagrees with me and says he can see a difference. After much studying, maybe I can see a little change but not the amount that I wanted. I took two different pictures on July 1st...one in capri's and one in shorts. I thought the capri's would show results better, but I don't think they did.
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| This is also July 1st vs. July 30th |
I also thought I would include a June 1st vs. July 30th picture as well.
At lease I'm not back where I started. ;)
I decided since the last two months were successful, in the sense that I finished what I started, I decided to increase my challenge. I will be doing a 90 day full body challenge. I think changing it up will be good. Now that I've proven to myself that I can do it, I'm excited to add the challenge of mixing up body parts. I will update throughout the next 90 days and will keep you posted.
The journey continues...
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